What is this feeling?
Hey hey! Happy new year lol. It has been quite a while since I posted but I am back now! Enjoy my new short piece and have a lovely weekend. :)
Am I?
Do you ever wonder what Peace feels like?
This is a question Elisa often thinks of. When you have lived a life of chaos, peace is often a foreign concept you can only dream of. At some point, Elisa believed it would never happen to her. She had grown so accustomed to emotional and mental turmoil that silence felt weird.
When did it start? The silence she means. Things are weird for someone who was always anxious and on guard, always prepared for the worst, and always ready for hurt. Life feels weird now. When she gets up in the morning to start her day she smiles, and when she talks to people she does so with freedom and not a pleasing strategy. Do you know what shocks her the most? She finds herself laughing often.
Even her family are confused. Elisa is someone who cries well, that is what she is known for. Alone or in front of others, she could break a record of crying. So when did laughing become normal to her and why does it feel so good?
These are thoughts that Elisa writes in her journal in the corner of her library. It is not like she is sad she is feeling this way, she is just confused and trying to understand it. She brings out her phone and searches “How to be okay with being happy”. She laughs as the various articles pop up. This is silly, right? Checking how to see happiness as normal.
No one talks in her head anymore. The voices are gone. The voices that would run around day and night with new thoughts, strong words, and panic are missing. This is what she loves the most. As she writes this, she smiles widely.
Someone once told her, a new beginning comes with a chaotic ending at times. It may not feel nice and will probably feel hard to deal with at that moment, but when you overcome it and look back after a while, you realise this new beginning is exactly what you needed.
“I guess I have found peace, genuinely”. She writes this and closes her journal. Tears flow down her eyes, but this time they are happy tears.
Elisa no longer has to wonder what peace feels like, she is living in it. Finally.
Thank you so much for reading “AM I?”, I hope you liked it. Please support me by commenting, giving as many claps as you want, following me, and sharing this story as well. Till next time, have a nice day!
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Check out my previous work “JANE (Letter Series #4)”:
